I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
