He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
