I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
