I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
