He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
