this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
