Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
