guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
