gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
