You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Randomize