she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
