You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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