my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Randomize
