The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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