oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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