i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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