True but thats because hes a fetus.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
