my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
