I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
