I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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