okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
