Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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