Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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