addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize