AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
