had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
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