508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
