Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
