Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
