there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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