As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
