I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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