why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
