it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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