im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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