For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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