How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Randomize
