she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I party with great urgency now.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
