Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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