I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Randomize
