i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
