It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
