Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
MIDGETS
????
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
