The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
