Absence makes the cock grow harder.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
They took my balls.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
