That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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