You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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