She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
