My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize