In the future we'll all be gay
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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