so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
