if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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