I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
