That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
