Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
too bad you live with your parents still
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
