Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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