stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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