i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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