It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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