Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
