I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
