do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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