Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
the raccoons are back...
Randomize