This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
