dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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