I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
