he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
