Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(806): View more from Texas

Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients

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(336): View more from North Carolina

Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again

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(614): View more from Ohio

at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?

(410): View more from Maryland

you are way too vulgar to be a girl

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay

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(602): View more from Arizona

Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.

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