Hey man sorry I got all grabby
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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