I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
