My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Randomize
